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bry0000000
Joined: 30 Jul 2009
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 Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:33 am Post subject: |
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| ldh2222 wrote: |
| bry0000000 wrote: |
| Cartman wrote: |
Funny that as I'm reading this thread a text msg just came from a K-girl "Jessica" (named changed) whose been stringing me along for weeks and flaking out each time we try and arrange to meet up. She writes:
"Hi! How r you? What are doing this weekend?"
So after some positive influence from this thread, my reply is:
"Yeonjoo? You left ur scarf and underwear in the back of taxi Saturday night. I'll get the scarf back to ya, but the underwear is mine. Sorry it has to be like that."
That should hopefully stop the influx of her stupid attention seeking texts. Go ahead everyone. Call me juvenile and childish, but I'm sick of hearing from this girl and being played when her plan A falls through. From now on it's head tripping mind games 
See you all in hell  |
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If it's a joke and she knows it, that might work. Don't be surprised if she chides you then texts you back asking you to meet up. |
Nope. |
Why not? |
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Cartman
Joined: 30 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:54 am Post subject: |
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haha - I got a reply from her around 1:30am tonight:
"You sent wrong msg? This is [Jessica] not Yeonjou. I didnt leave anything in taxi. you stil wana to meet me?"
So that settles it:
1) confirms (for me) yet again that most (if not all) of the k-girls I talk to don't get obscure jokes or sarcasm.
2) the apparent 'game' seems to have the effect that everyone here was posting about. I sent that txt with the mindset to get rid of her though. I love how she spelled the 'other' girl's name wrong too...
Conclusion: I'm not meeting her. No matter what. I think she is just laying more bait. I'm just deciding on if I should set a date then cancel at the last minute like she did to me twice now. That would be sinking to the same level though, and I'm not flaky.
I'm sure I at least pissed her off by 'mistaking' her for someone else. I've been hanging with a girl for a couple of weeks who is 31 and super cool. No games, and a similar mature mindset. Also, fluency in English is a big deal for me. I'm tired of simplifying everything I say... There seems to be a strong positive correlation b/w English fluency and no b*lls**t text msging.
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:41 am Post subject: |
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^ Some Korean girls play the game, but so do other girls around the world. Guys too.
There are a lot of great Korean girls out there too. People should stop with the labels and recognize human nature for what it is. |
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benji1422
Joined: 02 Jun 2009
Location: Los Angeles & Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:07 pm Post subject: |
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You don't need to speak another language fluently to know if someone wants to f--- you.
These k-girls have better noon-chi than you guys and you all are painfully obvious that you want to f--- them so bad, that's why they are playing with you, dropping lame-ass texts and flaking out on you .
Cartman +1.
I disagree that women are better and more mature about sex the older they get. They are all aware from aged 12 until death abouts men's sexual advances and intentions. They are just more adept at using it to their advantage the older they get. The young ones are just enjoying flexing their power... there are no "good" women or any of that. All women, unless they have a physical birth defect, enjoy flexing their sexual power. They just feel less of a need to the older they get.
I know it's counter intuitive, but the more ass you get from others, the more women want you. They are just competitive by nature. Don't believe any woman, no matter what she looks like or what she writes on a message board, who says otherwise. |
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mc_jc
Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Location: C4B- Cp Red Cloud, Area-I
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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Benji +1
Awesome post
However, the problem comes down to the competitiveness of "the game" in Korea- Korean women are being sought after by both foreign men and Korean men.
However, Korean men are getting anxious because of the perception of a gender imbalance in Korea due to parental preference for boys at birth.
For their perceived "uniqueness", foreign men are sought because they are seen as an escape from the servitude of marriage to a Korean. However, to counter this, Korean business men are sought because they are perceived to provide for many things foreign men can't provide- a stable job, a car, a home, etc.
In essense, there are too many men here, all after the same thing and that's what creates the perceived power women seem to wield. I agree a girl learns what she could get if she acts a certain way, which drives men crazy and allows them to manipulate men to get what they want.
I think the one thing to counter their "gonju byung" is to have money and status- they see that and go crazy. But if you show them that they can't have it by using their usual means, they either get upset or try harder.
Power and money are the key* |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Cartman wrote: |
haha - I got a reply from her around 1:30am tonight:
"You sent wrong msg? This is [Jessica] not Yeonjou. I didnt leave anything in taxi. you stil wana to meet me?"
So that settles it:
1) confirms (for me) yet again that most (if not all) of the k-girls I talk to don't get obscure jokes or sarcasm.
2) the apparent 'game' seems to have the effect that everyone here was posting about. I sent that txt with the mindset to get rid of her though. I love how she spelled the 'other' girl's name wrong too...
Conclusion: I'm not meeting her. No matter what. I think she is just laying more bait. I'm just deciding on if I should set a date then cancel at the last minute like she did to me twice now. That would be sinking to the same level though, and I'm not flaky.
I'm sure I at least pissed her off by 'mistaking' her for someone else. I've been hanging with a girl for a couple of weeks who is 31 and super cool. No games, and a similar mature mindset. Also, fluency in English is a big deal for me. I'm tired of simplifying everything I say... There seems to be a strong positive correlation b/w English fluency and no b*lls**t text msging.
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LOL, nice work. I've also found that women in their early 30's are the best here. But older women can play head games too, so don't let your guard down. I got real fed up with one of them because she wasn't respectful, she was eight years older than me and I felt like she used her age as an excuse to boss me around and treat me like a kid.
And about your last point, fully agree. I figured this out the hard way, but if you are looking for more than just a roll in the hay, then DO NOT try to date someone with whom you do not share a language that you are both completely fluent in. It is extremely alienating, and you will feel "alone" even in her company, because you will not be able to fully express yourself to her, she will not get your jokes, etc. You may think you can teach her, but that takes a lot of patience and it is really a pain to be a language tutor and a boyfriend at the same time.
If you must date Korean girls, and your own Korean is less than awesome, you're better off sticking to the ones who already speak excellent English. They're much more likely to have something in common with you. |
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Goku
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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| benji1422 wrote: |
You don't need to speak another language fluently to know if someone wants to f--- you.
These k-girls have better noon-chi than you guys and you all are painfully obvious that you want to f--- them so bad, that's why they are playing with you, dropping lame-ass texts and flaking out on you .
Cartman +1.
I disagree that women are better and more mature about sex the older they get. They are all aware from aged 12 until death abouts men's sexual advances and intentions. They are just more adept at using it to their advantage the older they get. The young ones are just enjoying flexing their power... there are no "good" women or any of that. All women, unless they have a physical birth defect, enjoy flexing their sexual power. They just feel less of a need to the older they get.
I know it's counter intuitive, but the more ass you get from others, the more women want you. They are just competitive by nature. Don't believe any woman, no matter what she looks like or what she writes on a message board, who says otherwise. |
Yes, I totally agree with this now.
After thinking about all the girlfriends I had, almost all of them thought of me as some kind of player... (which is totally not true and apparent from all the posts about my lack of knowledge and understanding about dating and women. I think peppermint, panda, and all the other well known women on this forum can vouch for that. ) They all asked me how many women I had... etc etc. Assuming I had sex all the time.
Anyways, I was talking to my ex last night. From everything she said, I finally understood the head games, and the ploys she was using to try to get men to do things.
She even told me one time she had a date with TWO GUYS at the same F****ing time!
I was like... wow those guys are balless freaks. It could be the princess of Mongolia for I care, I would not stoop so low to date a girl with ANOTHER guy present. That's just F****ed up.
The men here are desperate and that makes dating here even more F****ed up. Women love the power. I could tell. Both my ex's loved telling me and bragging how they could make men do things.
Frankly speaking, I can relate. I don't manipulate, but humans are very easy to manipulate given you use the right rhetorical tools. Women have so much power with their ability to use sex...
It's kind of disgusting to me, but who am I to judge? It's human nature and frankly speaking, this is a time old joke about how women use sex to control men.... |
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Joe666
Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Location: Jesus it's hot down here!
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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The men here are desperate and that makes dating here even more F****ed up. Women love the power. I could tell. Both my ex's loved telling me and bragging how they could make men do things.
Frankly speaking, I can relate. I don't manipulate, but humans are very easy to manipulate given you use the right rhetorical tools. Women have so much power with their ability to use sex...
It's kind of disgusting to me, but who am I to judge? It's human nature and frankly speaking, this is a time old joke about how women use sex to control men.... |
In any country, on any planet, females only have that power if you allow them to have that power. It's really about a males attitude that defines this "power" females have. |
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Old Gil
Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| redaxe wrote: |
And about your last point, fully agree. I figured this out the hard way, but if you are looking for more than just a roll in the hay, then DO NOT try to date someone with whom you do not share a language that you are both completely fluent in. It is extremely alienating, and you will feel "alone" even in her company, because you will not be able to fully express yourself to her, she will not get your jokes, etc. You may think you can teach her, but that takes a lot of patience and it is really a pain to be a language tutor and a boyfriend at the same time.
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Yes, it can be very repetitive. But the coitus helps. |
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TeeRev
Joined: 06 Nov 2009
Location: Daejeon
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Truer words were never spoken Joe Satan. |
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mysterious700
Joined: 10 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:45 pm Post subject: Re: Constant Attention-Seeking K-girl Phenomenon |
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| Cartman wrote: |
I'm finally going to vent this one - Just wanted to know how many others out there are experiencing stuff like this:
Been on the dating scene for long enough now to experience the same patterns of flakiness. Met a couple of nice genuine girls, who I've dated for a bit, but most of the ones in between are clearly not interested since they keep flaking out of meeting up at the last minute. YET, they continue to text msg me as soon as I give up:
"Hi, how was your day/weekend?"
or
"what are you doing this week"?
- almost to try and spark my interest in paying attention to them again.
Then as soon as they get me to send a msg or two back and ask to meet up, they back off. I have always been clear with my intentions from the start: some I want to try and be friends with, and others know that I am looking for something possibly more.
I feel like just writing "WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT" - but instead I'm just starting to delete the contacts from my phone.
Another thing that is irritating when talking to a girl in person is the constant approval seeking. I get questions like "So, what is your image of me?" "Or what did you think of me when you first met?" (when we just met 10 minutes ago). At first I thought it was a test for them to make sure I'm interested, which is fine. But many times I find that even some of the girls who aren't interested still TRAP me into giving them multiple compliments by asking the same question 4 times over the course of a 20 minute conversation.
I watched a friend play it cooler with a girl who was definitely interested in him and when he decided not to 'play into' her 6th approval seeking question about what he thought of her, she made a sad face and put her knuckles close to her eyes as if to imitate herself crying.
I'm done with the games. No more ego stroking from me. Only going to give the time of day to the ones who seem real and genuine....
Would like to hear some of your stories if they are similar.... |
Younger K chicks are not innocent as this society percieves. There are nice women and bad women everywhere. Women are just as capable of duplicity and deceit. Seems like they are texting you and probable other guys to keep you as a backup in case their current relationship goes wrong or maybe they are only doing it to practice their English. At either rate, if they back away once, drop them as a contact and don't reply anymore. (Or just take a week or two to reply back.) |
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mysterious700
Joined: 10 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Goku wrote: |
| Panda wrote: |
Many Korean people are of the one who know little about the art of conversation.
Reason: they have their conversation designed by some stupid dramas or whatever else. |
I went out with some high school girls (a co-teachers daughter) in a thinly guised reason for me to give free engrish lessons...
Anyways, they kept telling me their concept of love and dating and I could swear I was listening to a Korean version a of Fabio romance novel. It was like as unicorns and leprechaun existed they way they were talking.
I have pretty messed up and unrealistic expectations of dating myself, but these girls take the cake. They were like... "I will someday find a man who is rich, perfectly understands me, is powerful, handsome etc etc..."
Right.... just also expect him to constantly eat sam gyup sal, wasted off of soju, bang room salon whores, and pass out in the street every other night.
Now it's not just a REGULAR fairy tale that all women have about men. Their idea was SO unrealistic with a Korean twist. They expected literally the men to worship the ground they walk on and to do everything for them. Which frankly isn't too far from the reality of Korea. Men here are whipped before marriage. |
Ok, I don't know about going out with high school girls. A little young bud. Anyhow, seems a lot of shallowness here. I had a K chick tell me recently that love was marrying a guy with a BMW. How weird is that? I think another posters comments on older women dating might be better. I feel sorry sometimes for you 22 years old. You probably get the crap most. |
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UknowsI
Joined: 16 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Goku wrote: |
I went out with some high school girls (a co-teachers daughter) in a thinly guised reason for me to give free engrish lessons...
Anyways, they kept telling me their concept of love and dating and I could swear I was listening to a Korean version a of Fabio romance novel. It was like as unicorns and leprechaun existed they way they were talking.
I have pretty messed up and unrealistic expectations of dating myself, but these girls take the cake. They were like... "I will someday find a man who is rich, perfectly understands me, is powerful, handsome etc etc..."
Right.... just also expect him to constantly eat sam gyup sal, wasted off of soju, bang room salon whores, and pass out in the street every other night.
Now it's not just a REGULAR fairy tale that all women have about men. Their idea was SO unrealistic with a Korean twist. They expected literally the men to worship the ground they walk on and to do everything for them. Which frankly isn't too far from the reality of Korea. Men here are whipped before marriage. |
I've also heard these fairy tales a few times. It seems better to date someone who has realised that the fairy tales are unrealistic, the problem is that most girls start dating seriously rather late, so by the time they are starting to get the picture many girls will already be in their mid 30ties.
When I have asked a few girls "What kind of husband or boyfriend do you want?" I often get the answer that he has to love her more than anything on earth, have good manners and be someone she can respect. Good manners basically means he should be whipped, however a man who is whipped is most likely not someone she will respect, and in return she'll most likely not treat him so well, which might not give him much reason to love her above everything else on earth. I think this is a classic example of what you think you want is not what you really need.
This is of course not the case with every woman, but I think experience often make people have a more realistic imagine of what qualities are important for their partner to have. |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Old Gil wrote: |
| redaxe wrote: |
And about your last point, fully agree. I figured this out the hard way, but if you are looking for more than just a roll in the hay, then DO NOT try to date someone with whom you do not share a language that you are both completely fluent in. It is extremely alienating, and you will feel "alone" even in her company, because you will not be able to fully express yourself to her, she will not get your jokes, etc. You may think you can teach her, but that takes a lot of patience and it is really a pain to be a language tutor and a boyfriend at the same time.
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Yes, it can be very repetitive. But the coitus helps. |
Well, like I said. If all you're looking for is a little repetitive in-out-in-out, then it doesn't really matter. |
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Cartman
Joined: 30 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:23 am Post subject: |
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I can't find the poster who said this, but interesting how someone mentioned that the dating scene has become more complicated since the new age of text messaging... so true. Email never really became much of a factor in dating, because it is only checked when the person is at a computer. Some people only check their email once or twice a day. But a phone is instant - everyone carries their phone with them. Koreans in particular seem obsessed with their cell phones, and usually respond to a txt message within seconds...
Seemed easier when you could make plans through a phone CONVERSATION, and if someone had to cancel, they had to actually call you and confront you 'voice to voice' - no hiding behind the machine |
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