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PeterDragon



Joined: 15 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:57 pm    Post subject: gdfbhtbgdvf Reply with quote

gfd bvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Last edited by PeterDragon on Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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T-J



Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yeonsinnae

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

Has anyone else had similar experiences after marrying into the culture?

I have not. Everything you wrote is completely foreign to me. Good luck.
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The Goalie



Joined: 17 Nov 2009
Location: Chungcheongnamdo

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you were to apply this approach to living with some tribe in Africa you would be thought crazy. If a culture is sufficiently exotic it seems the oddities of that culture are proportionately respected. Why is it that so many people expect Koreans to be so tolerant? It's their culture and just because they want to learn what has become the international language they're expected to forfeit the right of their culture being respected. By marrying into a culture you take on the burden of acting in a manner acceptable to it.
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Privateer



Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wtf? This has got to be a troll.

Oh, well, serious reply just on the off chance you might be for real:

"No, getting married did not ruin Korea for me, but then, even before getting married, I was prepared to make minimal effort to fit in by occasionally bowing, using two hands, using the odd Korean phrase, and sometimes giving gifts. Just about every other ex-pat I know or see also does this and does not see this as an issue to leave the country over.

I think there are plenty of good reasons to leave Korea once you're married and/or planning on raising a family, but those little things you mention aren't among them."

If you're trolling: haha, hope you get satisfaction out of all the responses.
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halfmanhalfbiscuit



Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was an interesting post. I think a major problem though is that you work with ModEdit. If you worked with more Koreans who'd lived or studied overseas it might be less burdensome on your wife.

As it is your wife shouldn't be giving people's complaints any validity. She should be telling them to shut their pieholes. Problem solved in that case.
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Brooks



Joined: 08 Apr 2003

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

he is not a troll.
I have a Japanese wife so I can see what he means.
My wife got right-wing after marriage, after being liberal.
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I'm no Picasso



Joined: 28 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have no real right to comment here. I've only been in the ROK for a little over a year, and I'm not even in a relationship with a Korean, let alone married to one. That having been said, wouldn't it seem a little odd if a Korean who had been living in a Western country for three years greeted people in Korean and bowed? I assume a lot of what's going on goes beyond these surface things, but I think, with those things at least, your wife may have had honest intentions in suggesting you adjust them to fit in a little better.
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Old Gil



Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've lived here for a year and half and I don't like this country. Yet I still manage do bow, speak Korean and do the two hand thing, amazingly all without so much as a wife. It's just polite. Suck it up.
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PeterDragon



Joined: 15 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

xcvbn

Last edited by PeterDragon on Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Kurtz



Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Location: ples bilong me

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^

So you had no idea what you were potentially getting yourself into when you married into this culture?
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PeterDragon



Joined: 15 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ncvvvvvvvv

Last edited by PeterDragon on Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:41 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PeterDragon



Joined: 15 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ncvvvvvvvvvvvv

Last edited by PeterDragon on Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Xuanzang



Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Sadang

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

PeterDragon wrote:
Kurtz wrote:
^

So you had no idea what you were potentially getting yourself into when you married into this culture?


Honestly no, I didn't. I assumed whatever I had to deal with in the engagement would be be the worst of it, and it wasn't that bad. This blitzkrieg of racist snobbery and hypercriticism--- directed at me, my wife, AND her immediate family--- started abruptly after the wedding. If it was happening beforehand, my wife never reported it back to me. And her immediate family absolutely treat me as one of their own, aside from being unwilling/unable to stand up for me when I'm accused of disrespect.

My best guess is that her extended family and friends didn't feel threatened by me and till my inclusion in the family became "real", sealed with a ceremony.


Well this tit for tat will probably continue until 1 of 2 things happen - you divorce and leave her or they die. It's not uncommon behaviour in a mixed marriage. My buddy married an Indian girl and her parents never stopped criticizing or penalizing him for being non-Indian. Making snide remarks. On the other hand, one of my buddies is married to a Korean and her family took a shine to him. Maybe it helps that he has contractor money and privileges but they seem to appreciate the little things he has tried to do. Thw bowing, attempting Korean, etc. It doesn't matter what the culture. There will always be jerks.
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PeterDragon



Joined: 15 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

cnvvvvvvvvvv

Last edited by PeterDragon on Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rusty Shackleford



Joined: 08 May 2008

PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're obviously never going to please your Korean family. Just act in a way that you are comfortable with. When your family realises that trying to make you conform to their expectations isn't going to work, they will probably get bored and give up.
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