Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fromtheuk]

I was talking to a fellow American teacher the other day. It was virtually a one-way conversation. He wanted to just talk and talk.

Anyway, we kind of parted company and then met again near the elevator. Once more he was going on and on and on.

So, I started to drop some polite hints that it was time to end the conversation. When somebody says, 'Well, I think I'd better go now' etc. it means the conversation is going to end soon.

I eventually managed to get away and that was it.

I am not saying all Americans are like this at all.

In fact, I've met a few here who don't talk forever.

I think it was because this guy was older and also liked to talk. The thing is he didn't seem to realize he was becoming tiresome.

If the conversation didn't end, it felt like drastic measures would be required i.e. please shut up now and let me leave.

Have you met people who seem to lack self-awareness in communication?

Tell us about them.

[rocket_scientist]

[DorkothyParker]

I lack self-awareness in communication.

I have difficulty knowing when to stop talking. I do understand when other people say they need to go. But unless I actually HAVE somewhere to be, I don't know how to end a conversation. Like just turn away from them? I am clueless.

I'm not necessarily or even mostly a talker. In fact, I would be happy just listening most of the time. This worked really well back home as all my coworkers had all kinds of drama they liked to dish to me. I find most Euro types are fairly quiet. I don't like that. I like big talkers. I tend to go to extremes either running my mouth like a motor or not saying much of anything.

I understand from the talkers view, though, that it would seem weird to be in an elevator not talking to someone you had just been talking to. I hate when you say goodbye to someone at a crosswalk and they end up going the same direction as you. So awkward!

[robot]

It's not too hard, Dorkothy.

Just keep the conversation around a 50-50 split. If the other person is giving one-word answers or the like, he's probably bored. Body language is a pretty clear indicator, as well.

[SeoulMan99]

Yeah, Nationality doesn't have much to do with this. Brit, Yank, Canuck..some are extroverted, some are introverted. Anyways, yeah I know someone like this. You talk to her and there never seems to be a break in the conversation to where you can drop a hint that it's time to wrap it up. Some people just don't have social awareness. Is this guy always this way, or was he just overly excited? If I'm in a really good mood I can be rather talkative.

[Kwangjuchicken]

[VanIslander]

"properly"

You Brits sure like to be proper.

[Senior]

Eeeeshhh. I can be exceedingly rude in these sorts of situations. I absolutely loath talking for the sake of talking. I would rather sit in silence than talk about cats or the weather or any of the other inane topics that seem to comprise 75% of everyday human interaction.

This could be why I don't have any friends. Oh well, at least I have Dave's.

[Bloopity Bloop]

What was even the point of bringing nationality into this?

[Kaypea]

I think you've gotta accommodate your co-worker talking to you a lot. How many other English-speaking people are there where you work? He may just be starved for English coversation, or maybe he always likes to wear out a new acquaintance with lots of talk... it's like playing with a new toy when you're a little kid, and eventually you get bored of it. Sometimes new aquaintences are like this, to some people.

There's a chance you may become good friends with this guy. I find that the sort of people who tend to irritate me with endless chatter, and who don't pick up on my "I'm bored" cues are the ONLY people who can actually stay friends with me But, I know... the initiation stage of such friendships is a bit gruelling, until you get used to the person and actually start to like them (after a few months). It takes a while for me to warm up to almost anyone.

In the meantime, with Yankee Yakker... just minimize your outside-of-work contact until the if-or-when point you actually like him. Invent a girlfriend/ wife you always have to be home to have Skype-dates with.

[Draz]

[Leslie Cheswyck]

They may have ass-burger syndrome.

[Kurtz]

People like this perhaps

a) suffer from nervous energy, and just can't help themselves

b) are insecure and want to tell you everything they know so you think they are well read, well travelled and generally have their fingers in all the pies

c) been shacked up in their little apartment, stewing over many thoughts, and suddenly find someone to unleash those thoughts upon

Some people live in such a state of self-unawareness that they simply have no idea how toxic they are.

I used to know a Canadian guy who was like that. He'd do 95% of the talking, and I felt like just dragging along a soapbox for him, and a deck chair and a long island iced tea for me.

[toonchoon]

there was this Korean American that I met a month ago, who talked 90% of the time. if i had a chance to get in a word, he would take whatever I said, and either tear it apart, or tell me what i should/need to do.

i was so repulsed, yet so amazed that i kept going just to see if this guy was for real.

he was.


should'nt have given him the time of day though.

as i was trying to get away, he suggested he accompany me. i forgot how i got away from him but I'm sure glad i did.

[fromtheuk]

I mentioned he was American in bold to emphasis the fact his nationality is not the issue. Duh!

I think part of the reason for my introverted nature are the number of people I've met who think they are truly marvellous company, when they actually are not, they tend to be the worst offenders.

This guy was in his 50's. He has clearly had alot of different experiences in life. I just don't think he realized I was not interested in what he had to say. I didn't volunteer to chat with him, I was sort of 'cornered'.

Anyway, I was polite and then we both parted company.

He was quite pleasant which made it less painful.

However, I intensely dislike the kind of people that you spend 5 minutes with and they start to talk down to you, try to humiliate you in front of others and then have the audacity to act like you're imagining it.

I recently met someone like that, I reciprocated their disrespect which lead them to confront me over it. I told them bluntly that I didn't appreciate their blatant rudeness, I also said I really couldn't stand them and I'd be grateful if I could never see them again.

They were younger than me. I also told him if their parents were here, I'd ask them to slap him right now for his insolence.

I was pleased with giving them a 'wake-up' call. They kind of avoid me now.

When our paths cross, we greet one another very abruptly, and he has gone from being dissmissive, to hardly saying a word in my presence.

I'm so glad I spend most my time alone, I suppose that's why I live my life in online forums.