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cwflaneur
Joined: 04 Aug 2009
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:45 am Post subject: Korean girlfriend who still lives with parents.... |
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Honestly, how does it work? I'm sure everyone gets my point. I'd like to hear about someone's experience with this... what should I expect? |
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hexagonsun
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Location: ROK
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:54 am Post subject: |
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welcome to Korea |
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Brooksmatic

Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:54 am Post subject: |
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I've had a Korean girlfriend for over a year now and she still lives with her parents. Honestly, it's gonna depend on how strict her parents are. My girlfriend can stay out late on any given night but is usually expected to come home on weekdays. She usually sleeps over 1-2 nights a week on average (Fridays or Saturdays mostly).
Probably the worst thing about it is that my girl gets frustrated living with her parents. They are always on her case about her job and staying healthy (they're health nuts).
It's all gonna depend on how strict they are. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:58 am Post subject: |
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My wife lived with her folks when we met back in 1997. She was in her early 20s. I was in my mid 20s. (4 years difference).
How did it work?
Like dating works my friend. We went out to movies, dinner and so on. She went home around 11pm. I had no problem with that because I love her. Its just a small adaptation. We took weekend trips together to Jeju, Gyungju and so on. She told her parents she was going on trips with me and some friends. They knew better, we knew better...face was maintained.
How do I know? My mother in law told me this over lunch two years later.
If you are serious about the girl then you adapt. If not, I suppose you better move on! |
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cwflaneur
Joined: 04 Aug 2009
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:06 am Post subject: |
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Brooksmatic wrote: |
I've had a Korean girlfriend for over a year now and she still lives with her parents. Honestly, it's gonna depend on how strict her parents are. My girlfriend can stay out late on any given night but is usually expected to come home on weekdays. She usually sleeps over 1-2 nights a week on average (Fridays or Saturdays mostly).
Probably the worst thing about it is that my girl gets frustrated living with her parents. They are always on her case about her job and staying healthy (they're health nuts).
It's all gonna depend on how strict they are. |
Candidly, what's the deal? Does she have to lie to her parents about who she's with on those weekends? Do they know about you?
I am a white Westerner, in case I didn't mention it in my first post (I'm drunk). It seems like most guys I know date K girls who don't live at home. Is that just the people I know or is it a general overwhelming trend?
PatrickGHBusan:
Thanks; interesting response. |
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Brooksmatic

Joined: 06 Apr 2008 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:11 am Post subject: |
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PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
My wife lived with her folks when we met back in 1997. She was in her early 20s. I was in my mid 20s. (4 years difference).
How did it work?
Like dating works my friend. We went out to movies, dinner and so on. She went home around 11pm. I had no problem with that because I love her. Its just a small adaptation. We took weekend trips together to Jeju, Gyungju and so on. She told her parents she was going on trips with me and some friends. They knew better, we knew better...face was maintained.
How do I know? My mother in law told me this over lunch two years later.
If you are serious about the girl then you adapt. If not, I suppose you better move on! |
My situation I mentioned above is very similar to this. Her parents know about me but I'm pretty sure my girlfriend always tells them we are going out with a group of people.
And I think a lot of K-girls under 25 that have their parents in Seoul are gonna live with them. Big exception is if their parents live too far from their job.
I think most of my girl's friends that live alone originally came from other cities. So, their parents are still back in those cities. |
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sesyeux
Joined: 20 Jul 2009 Location: king 'arrys
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:07 pm Post subject: |
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so generally speaking, most k-girls live with their parents until mid to late twenties, when they either a] earn enough to move out, or b] find someone to move in with? seems like a sweet deal. i, for one, could not handle living with my parents for more than a few weeks though. this is the first time since university i've been home for more than a few days [sorting out everything needed for the E2] and already i'm getting cabin fever.... |
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Whitey Otez

Joined: 31 May 2003 Location: The suburbs of Seoul
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, they lie to their parents about you as long as they can. Applying pressure to get your relationship out in the open is failure wrapped in fermented cabbage.
Yes, they live with their parents well into middle age if they're single. The girls that move out are a new phenomenon, and they're a lot like freshmen at university who discover whole new layers of freedom. They enjoy dating a lot of different guys, and tend to be out later than the girls that live with their folks.
Of course, on any given night, a "good" girl could be lying about who they are with and be out til five. Fathers don't seem to mind their daughters being in Tin Pan Alley at 4AM so long as they are there with their old chum from junior high.
But reading between the lines, I believe your real answer to your original question is: DVD rooms.
Bless them. |
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Radius
Joined: 20 Dec 2009
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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i just hooked up with this girl today and shes 35 (K-age) and still lives at home. girls weird though  |
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djsmnc

Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Dave's ESL Cafe
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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My GF's parents have never cared at all. She has crashed at my place for days on end and I've shared a bed in her room with her numerous times while her parents were at home. No awkwardness whatsoever. Her mom has often made me breakfast. There's no way on earth any of that would fly with my own folks. |
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Stalin84
Joined: 30 Dec 2009 Location: Haebangchon, Seoul
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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Possibilities:
1. It's not the parent's she is living with, it's her husband. She is telling you it's her parents so you won't think too much about it.
2. She is too afraid to tell her parents about you. If her parents find a suitable Korean for her, she'll get a new phone and you'll never hear from her again until after she's married with kids. It doesn't matter if you've been dating 2 weeks or 2 years. If her parents snap their fingers she will move on and forget you overnight.
3. She will tell her parents about you eventually but will stay with you either way. These are the best girls (although rarest). |
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jiberish

Joined: 17 Jul 2006 Location: The Carribean Bay Wrestler
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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Living with your parents for a long time in Korea is pretty common. It isn't strange at all to have a 30 year old still living with their parents. One of the women I worked with once was 38 and married. She moved into her husbands parents' home with her husband... |
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crescent

Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Location: yes.
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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Quite a few women are maintaining life with the folks for longer periods back home now, too.
Last edited by crescent on Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:27 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Kurtz
Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Location: ples bilong me
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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The telling of the parents bit can be unpleasant. Next time your see Mr Kim, you might find him saying "so are you going to marry our daughter?"
Dating a Korean girl who lives with her parents is like dating Cinderella. |
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Englishee
Joined: 21 Jan 2010
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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usually stays over on Fridays, spends the day Saturday but then goes home late at night.
She told her older sister she's going out with a white guy, but I don't think she told her parents. I don't think she ever told her parents she's sleeping over at my place. when i asked her about it, she said, "they don't ask, so i dont tell..." |
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