Korean Job Discussion Forums

[John Connor]

OK. Ladies be honest here. It was brought to my attention via a conversation between Charlotte and Samantha that many women use the above book as a guide to how to act and behave in relationships and dating.

I've met a few women who definitely seem to be "busy" and "elusive" Unfortunately, if this was an attempt to subtley convince me they are popular, hard to get and something special, it didn't really sway me into action. They didn't exactly inspire me, capture my attention and I couldn't be bothered pursuing them.

Please consider the poll below

[mulligc3]

Ok.
I've never read it but 2 girls I know lived it and swore by it. They are both married now.
Some of it is common sense and I agree with (like 1 and 2 maybe) and I'd do anyway but some of it I find stupid. It worked for them though!!
1)Don't accept a date after Wednesday for the coming weekend even if you are free. (could have been Tues)
2)Never call him first at the beginning.
3)Never live with a guy before marrying if you want to get married.

Basically have your own life, don't revolve it around him and let him chase you.I don't know any more though.

[peppermint]

How old was that episode of SATC? I haven't heard anyone even mention the book in at least a decade.

[.38 Special]

What in the 9 Hells is afoot here?

[peppermint]

The Rules was a self help book that came out in the mid nineties. It told women they could capture Mr. Right by behaving like it was 1953 and playing all sorts of mind games to make the poor lad prove his good intentions.

It came under fire because all of the advice was based upon the two author's personal experiences, and then the media got wind that one of the authors was in the midst of a messy divorce.

I assume that the OP heard about the rules via a conversation on Sex and the City, because of the "conversation between Charlotte and Samantha", as though every chick would know exactly who and what he meant.

On a sidenote- where's box o' chocs these days? I'm sure she'd take an even dimmer view of the book than I do.

[.38 Special]

[kabrams]

[John Connor]

Yes, it was a conversation between Charlotte (a rules girl) and Samantha (anything but) during Sex and the City season 2 I think.

I am a man, so of course I think it's pretty silly. But it is interesting to note that the author DID get a divorce after the book became a bestseller. And to be fair, I have seen a photo of her. A cool, good looking, real man would have more to choose from than just the illusive woman she pretends you should be.

That said, I know what book I am getting my single male friends for Chistmas this year. haha

[Kaypea]

I can't believe people are talking about "The Rules". That book was great fun. It was so popular at the time that I think there was even a rules for gay people written (or am I having fake memories)?

I guess the message is kind of like "He's Just Not that Into You". Don't chase men. The appeal of the rules, though, was that it was such a blatent throw-back to sexist times that everybody had to read it, just to see how outrageously dated it was. (That explains why almost everybody bought it, and not just some people). The fact that it was the book about not phoning men made everybody want to read it....

I remember at the time (mid 1990's) it was also hip to email those 1950's home ec advice lists to people to cluck in amazement at stuff like, "Don't bore your husband by telling him about your day." Ah, the early days of email...

[PenName]

Ok... "ladies".



These rules are the exact reason I'll NEVER marry a typical North American woman. Falsity and deceitfulness are deal killers for most men who aren't controlled by lust.

Oh, and men HATE the type of woman portrayed in Sex and the City, FYI.


Good luck! Tick tock.

[Janny]

Marriage...

Most days I thank God I'm living in times where it's OK for a woman not to marry.

[jhuntingtonus]

During my time on the prowl in the US (late 1990s and some later), The Rules was well known. It was fairly easy to pick out its adherents - they were strangely unresponsive, passive, and even apathetic, though they didn't just walk away.

The largest problems with the philosophy are a) men very seldom fall in love immediately with women they meet, so if women underplay their interest in them, the man may just walk off to find someone who (seemingly) likes them more; b) even the kind of men these women are looking for (someone who will marry them) aren't always super-persistent; c) having to pursue, pursue, pursue someone to be an equal partner is the worst, not the best, part of the romantic for many men; and d) there are countermeasures, such as dating other women on the many nights the Rules girl is (artificially) unavailable.

In summary, men actively looking for women, whether for wives, girlfriends, or overnight flings, learn quickly that attractive ones who have insufficient interest in them are a dime a dozen. So when women are overly cool, even after a date or two, it's too hard to try to thaw them and too easy to move on to the next. And there are plenty of single women out there.

[Draz]

[MattAwesome]

ABC's

[John Connor]