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phill458
Joined: 08 May 2009
Location: Sang Ju
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 Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 2:50 am Post subject: h |
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add
Last edited by phill458 on Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:06 am; edited 3 times in total |
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jinks
Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Location: Formerly: Lower North Island
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:07 am Post subject: |
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I got as far as families (family's) and communities (community's) and gave up. Two more points though - the John Grisham novel shouldn't be in a footnote - if it is relevant, then include it in the main body of the text. Maybe you should say 'expectations' instead of 'prophecy', just a thought.
ETA: I like the title, though. |
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phill458
Joined: 08 May 2009
Location: Sang Ju
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:23 am Post subject: |
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| Thanks for the look, i did a [Mod Edit] job on the first write!!! |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:26 am Post subject: |
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| which law school is it you are applying to? |
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phill458
Joined: 08 May 2009
Location: Sang Ju
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:30 am Post subject: |
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I've got a list starting with U of M, georgetown, northwestern, boston u, boston c, osu, george washington, george mason, notre dame, william ad mary, u.c. berkeley.
My problem is I graduated #1 at Michigan State University with a 3.9 gpa but i scored a 153 on the lsat. Therefore, i'm trying to take an extra extra careful look at crafting my essay before sending it to another professor and have it looked at. |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:49 am Post subject: |
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Outside top 15 I wouldn't bother, especially in this economy. You need to raise your LSAT for that.
Have you heard of jdunderground.com
? |
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zappadelta
Joined: 31 Aug 2004
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:53 am Post subject: |
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| William and Mary! My hometown! I also like the title. Good luck! |
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Ruthdes
Joined: 16 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 8:47 am Post subject: |
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I would make your sentences shorter. I once read that if you have to read a sentence twice for it to make sense, it's not a good sentence. Seemed like good advice to me, and I regularly tell this to my (adult) students. You could break many of them up into two parts.
University shouldn't have a capital letter.
I agree with putting the Grisham thing into the body.
Please run a spell check. "Priveldege" (privilege) for one, is spelled wrong. Even my browser picks this up.
I wouldn't use "To wrap this up", but that is my personal opinion, and maybe you're using it to represent your own style.
What is the usual length for a law school application essay? I feel like this is too short. Could you elaborate more on Korea? My first thought was that this finished really abruptly and left me wanting to know more about how Korea shaped you.
These are my first glance corrections. It still needs work, but the content seems good. |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 8:49 am Post subject: |
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| recessiontime wrote: |
| Outside top 15 I wouldn't bother, especially in this economy. You need to raise your LSAT for that. |
Yes, and you seriously need to boost that LSAT score, it is pretty lousy. |
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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 9:11 am Post subject: |
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I would remove the part about what your stepfather did to you. It will likely only make the reader uncomfortable.
My vague sense of Georgetown law school is its one of those super-competitive schools where most people are unhappy.
http://www.nationaljurist.com/content/best-value-law-schools |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 9:39 am Post subject: |
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| Sounds too informal, even for an informal essay. The structure of the sentences just sounds like gossip written on paper to me. |
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asc422
Joined: 23 Feb 2009
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:02 am Post subject: |
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... ... ...
Last edited by asc422 on Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:30 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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asc422
Joined: 23 Feb 2009
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:50 am Post subject: |
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... ...
Last edited by asc422 on Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:39 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:40 am Post subject: |
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| Kuros wrote: |
I would remove the part about what your stepfather did to you. It will likely only make the reader uncomfortable.
My vague sense of Georgetown law school is its one of those super-competitive schools where most people are unhappy.
http://www.nationaljurist.com/content/best-value-law-schools |
Ha, I wonder why you chose that article.
My next door neighbors are a couple G-town law students. The dude seems upbeat most of the time while his gf always looks miserable (but maybe it is due to living with him more than law school).
And I just read that essay. Dude, it needs a serious re-write. You need to explain your interest in going into law. Saying a John Grisham book is the reason? Yikes, that's bound to make eyes roll. Somehow tie your background into your interest in law. Maybe you or your family got f-d over in some legal matter and it made you want to become a law advocate for the poor? Probably BS, but if you can make it believable it will work. |
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madoka
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:54 am Post subject: |
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While I agree with much of what you wrote, I think you are being too harsh, especially with this one:
| asc422 wrote: |
| - The job market is total garbage and it's not going to improve in our lifetime ... your debt will slowly strangle the happiness out of your life |
I chatted with the Deans of Admission for NYU, Cornell and Duke last week. All three reported that the job market is bouncing back. For example, 100% of Duke's class of 2009 was employed at graduation with a median salary of $160,000. Plus, the time period the OP cares about is four years from now. No one knows how the economy will look in four years.
All this is irrelevant though, because in my opinion, the OP will not get into a top school. Not with a 153 LSAT and a bad personal statement.
Last edited by madoka on Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:07 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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