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Dave's BIG joke thread 2011
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interestedinhanguk



Joined: 23 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Panda's hilarious.
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rumdiary



Joined: 05 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q. What's the difference between Panda and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
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Robbo



Joined: 05 Sep 2010

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

maybe Panda needs a Rabbit

A duck, a farmer and a pitchfork walk into a bar; the barman says, "what is this, some kind of joke?

Lately my personal favorite was on the "Do you hate hipsters thread". I hate to steal it but it is worth repeating:

How many Hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I could tell you but it's such an obscure number you've probably never heard of it.
(my apologies to the original poster; hilarious though)
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rumdiary



Joined: 05 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Robbo wrote:


Lately my personal favorite was on the "Do you hate hipsters thread". I hate to steal it but it is worth repeating:

How many Hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I could tell you but it's such an obscure number you've probably never heard of it.
(my apologies to the original poster; hilarious though)

Charles Bronson in Killing Hipsters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEyP4Q8igQY&feature=player_embedded#
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darkjedidave



Joined: 19 Aug 2009
Location: Shanghai/Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What did the blind, deaf, mute, paraplegic kid get for Christmas?






Cancer
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Panda



Joined: 25 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

rumdiary wrote:

A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.


A bowling ball, a booger and rumdiary are sitting in a bar.

the booger says: I don't think I want to hang out with you guys.

the bowling ball says: why discriminative, we all are balls.

and rumdiary says (excitedly and naughtily): plus we all love being played by fingers, cheers~!
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Robbo



Joined: 05 Sep 2010

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am more endeared to Panda by the second.

If "con" is the opposite of "pro"

What's the opposite of "progress"?
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Robbo



Joined: 05 Sep 2010

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

An old penguin muslim Korean apologist Dave's poster walks into a bar, and, I don't know...
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Stalin84



Joined: 30 Dec 2009
Location: Haebangchon, Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why can nobody truly have a good relationship with a woman?

...Because nobody has a dick made of chocolate that ejaculates money.
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loveless



Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Location: love is a danger of a different kind...

PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

a brit, an aussie and panda get lost near some farmland. they are cold, hungry, dumbfounded and tired. they wander onto a farm and walk up to the farm house in seek of shelter. the farmer answers the door and tells them that they cannot sleep in his house but there is a little space for them with the cows and pigs in his barn. they are so tired that they accept his offer. they go into the barn and find a spot next to the cows and pigs.

after about 90 minutes, the farmer hears a knock on his door. it's the brit saying: 'please, kind sir, the stench in the barn is just too vile for me to sleep! i beg you, may i sleep on the floor in your house.' the kind farmer obliges.

after another 30 minutes, the farmer again hears a knock on his door. it's the aussie crying: 'please, kind sir, the reek is just too vile for me to sleep! i beg you, may i sleep on the floor in your house.' the kind farmer obliges.

after about another 15 minutes, the farmer once again hears a knock on his door. he opens the door and sees all the cows and pigs standing there. Laughing
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asylum seeker



Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Location: On your computer screen.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why did the man who liked smoking cigarettes go to the horse race?

말보러
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NYC_Gal 2.0



Joined: 10 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Knock knock.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

To whom.
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loveless



Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Location: love is a danger of a different kind...

PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

panda: 'knock, knock?'
handsome ass: 'who's there?'
panda: 'panda.'
handsome ass: 'go *beep* yourself.' Laughing
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rumdiary



Joined: 05 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loveless decided that he had had enough of acting like a crazy loon all the time, so he decided to visit a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," he pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of my coworkers I scare her away with all my crazy babble and then I start threads about in on Dave's and make myself look like an even bigger ass. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!!!" exclaimed Loveless. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"
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DorkothyParker



Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: Jeju

PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A male magnet walks into a bar. Immediately, he is attracted to a female magnet sitting across the room. Unfortunately, he found her rather repulsive from the front. Sad

**************************************

Some helium floats into a bar. "Sorry," said the bartender, " we don't serve noble gases here." The helium doesn't react.
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