Korean Job Discussion Forums

[namerae]

It sounds like you're torn between great and wonderful girlfriend, sex, and happiness and your family obligations.

I understand that you're Korean American, so have you told your parents about this girl? Do they know that you want to bring her to America? Did you mention that you want to marry her? I'm sorry but after 6 months of only living together on the weekends (and the details you gave us all about your girlfriend's personality) I think you might still be on the 'happy' cloud.

To make a girl change her life that quickly will probably, most likely, end in disaster for one or both of you.

It takes a lot of planning and trust to go through with this. The impression that I got from you (which might be entirely because of a lack of information) is that you might not really understand one another's motivations 100%. Her dream may be to go to America, and to work for Korean Air, and marry an American, but seriously... with her education and work experience I'm not so sure she will have an easy time of it. As someone said, thousands of women apply for each spot. Only the most beautiful and most qualified women are allowed.

Of course, I'm sure your girlfriend is great, but she needs to have a good feeling about moving her life abroad for the long term. Does she really not like Korea enough to stay? (Or you enough to leave?)

How old is she? Do you feel she's ready for a big change? Do you really love HER or the idea of being WITH her?

It takes two to tango. So make sure that she is included into this decision, and not feeling pressured because of your father, his retirement, and your ideals.

[fortysixyou]

Stay in Korea at least another year. Move in together if you can. This will help progress your relationship and also drastically improve her English.

Regarding your girlfriend's desire to become a flight attendant: I'm not doubting her abilities, but becoming a flight attendant for Korean Air is hard. I mean really hard. It's extremely competitive. My girlfriend was the perfect candidate and even went to school to train for the position, made it to the third and final interview, and failed. Now she's a beautiful, well-trained secretary.

However, if your girlfriend gets the position, you should let her keep it and think about staying in Korea long term. Improve your own career by pursuing further education and more prestigious jobs. Teaching ESL here isn't necessarily a 'dead end' job.

Moving back to the states to get a job is hard. Bringing a girl with you is even harder. Bringing a girl who needs to work is harder. Bringing a girl who needs to work, with limited English is yet even harder. Successfully bringing a girl who needs to work, with limited English, who has never lived outside her home country is almost impossible.

I vote stay in Korea. You should both develop yourselves more.

[pkang0202]

OP, you are getting some great advice. I want to add to what others have said.

Right now, your girlfriend is in Korea surrounded by her family, friends, and everything she knows as familiar.

Moving to the US might change her personality and her outlook on life completely. In the US, she has you and only you. Unless she makes close friends there(who speak Korean) then she will feel extremely lonely. there are some things a woman wants to talk about that they can't talk about with their boyfriend. Whether its venting or talking about life in general, they usually talk about those things with their friends or their mother.

In the US, she does not have that outlet. Also, there you have your family, your friends, and your life. it may be difficult for her to simply plug herself into everything you know as familiar.


That's not to say its impossible. People here are just trying to get you to understand the gravity of the situation. You need to make it clear to her what she's getting into. Tell her that she can't go home if she misses her mom's cooking. She will be missing her friends' weddings and special events. Things like that. If she's totally alright with that, then take a chance.

[Yaya]

The depressing weather of Seattle could get to her, too.

[Poker]

If the OP had an ounce of intelligence, he will listen to the advice given here and not think about taking her to America.

Please listen to the above posts OP. Your friends and family may give you different ideas, but they are biased. The people on this board are looking at your situation clearly and giving thoughtful advice. There is a saying that goes something like, 'smart people look at other people's mistakes and learns from them.' You can avoid a number of potential pitfalls just by having good judgement skills in life. There is a wealth of experience and wise heads in this forum. Count yourself lucky that you posted your issue on Dave's and had people take the time to give you some really good advice.

The reason why this post attracted my attention is that I can relate a little to what the OP is thinking. I am 27 too, have a Korean girlfriend, and maybe someday I will marry her. But I am damn sure that I will have stability in all aspects of my life before I take her out of Korea and even think about marriage. Leave the girl in Korea and let her get her life sorted. You need to get your life sorted too. I mean you don't even have enough money for a wedding? (I don't have much either, but I have something, about W50 million, and I am continuously stressing about my financial situation). And here you are thinking about taking a girl over to stay with you in the future and possibly binding her to you for life. Other things should be on your mind right now.

Lastly, before my current girlfriend, I have met some Korean girls that also wanted to become flight attendants. Last year, Asiana put up a notice for 3 positions. 12 000 girls applied across the country. Your girlfriend is up against extremely beautiful girls with good language skills. Some even have flight experience. This is the reality. I am not saying to put her down and let go of her goals. But chances are that she will need to find a different career path later when she realizes that road is a dead end.

She is not stable. You are not stable. Everyone on this board can see it. I hope you can too and get your priorities right so that in the future you can share a great life with this girl. Leave her in Korea to do her thing, go to America to do yours. Any relationship can be amazing for 6 months. Not enough time to base major decisions on. If you really love each other, long distance is not that hard to tough out.

Maybe I am using more forceful language than the others and this all sounds like an attack on you, but it has to be said to hopefully have you take on board what everyone is saying here. Good luck OP.

[y2kenjination]

Thank you everyone! I can't thank you guys enough for all the advice. =)

[Malislamusrex]

There is some good advice there,

I have already thought about this because of my current situation, and I have made a contingency plan for worst case scenario. If your gf can't get a job what are your / her options? If you can answer that question there is no need to worry. My answer is simple, my wife having a job isn't really in my economic forecast, if she gets one its good but not a big deal.

My advice, stay in Korea for a little, take her to the US for a test run see what's available..... because no one on this board is going to give you advice about the job market in Seattle.

[sundizz]

OP...don't let the advice get you down. I have started dating a girl for the last six months too and am thinking about what possibilities there are for the future.

She is in a little bit better position than yours as she speaks English fluently (lived in the U.S for high school), and can fluently speak Korean, Japanese and is currently learning Mandarin. Oddly, she also wants to work for an airline and given her looks and language abilities she seems to stand a good chance (has an interview at least lined up).

As hard as it is to hear, if you really believe this is the girl for you then you need to stay in Korea. My contract is up and I am (26) and also want to go back and start my career properly in the States. You need to seriously consider your options in Korea. There are a few decent schools here that you could get your a global English MBA at. As a Korean-American you probably already speak decent Korean? If you combined speaking English fluently, Korean fluently, and have a MBA I'm sure there are more options available to you at Korean companies.

Additionally, my suggestion is that you find wtv/any/hagwon/anything job for six month and tough it out. Save your money and be with the girl for another six month. It'll really help you to have some time to think things through clearly. After that, take six months off and live in the U.S and just settle all your affairs with your parents and help get them situated for the future. I know how much of a responsibility you feel toward your parents and this is just something we all have to go through.

At the end of the day, you could make this happen but there will have to be sacrifices made and a lot of effort. School (either in the U.S or here in Korea) is the best visa opportunities for both of you I'd think.