Site Search:
 
Speak Korean Now!
Teach English Abroad and Get Paid to see the World!
Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

"Why don't you smile more?"
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
creeper1



Joined: 30 Jan 2007

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 6:08 am    Post subject: "Why don't you smile more?" Reply with quote

"This is a kids school and if the teacher smiles then the parents will think you are a good teacher."

"Look at John. Maybe he isn't the best teacher but everybody loves his smile. Why don't you be more like him"

At my current school I put up with my share of criticism. It could be about the kids's behaviour in my classes, not doing team building exercises in my free time etc.

When I receive this criticism it just makes me so mad. I don't deal with criticism well. It just pisses me off.

How do you deal with criticism? Especially when the criticism of not smiling makes you just want to wear your angry face even more. Mad
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Nismo



Joined: 31 Aug 2005

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 6:34 am    Post subject: Re: "Why don't you smile more?" Reply with quote

creeper1 wrote:
"This is a kids school and if the teacher smiles then the parents will think you are a good teacher."

"Look at John. Maybe he isn't the best teacher but everybody loves his smile. Why don't you be more like him"

At my current school I put up with my share of criticism. It could be about the kids's behaviour in my classes, not doing team building exercises in my free time etc.

When I receive this criticism it just makes me so mad. I don't deal with criticism well. It just pisses me off.

How do you deal with criticism? Especially when the criticism of not smiling makes you just want to wear your angry face even more. Mad


You're teaching children. Children are naturally superficial. They prefer the moronic, skinny, beautiful teacher over the brilliant, fat, ugly teacher (ask my daughter and she will confirm this). They are asking you to be charismatic. If that's not possible for you, then perhaps switch to a different demographic?

And, as a father, I would agree with them. Personally, I don't like teaching children, which is why I don't. But I expect the teacher that teaches my daughter to be damn well satisfied with their position.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
comm



Joined: 22 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 6:42 am    Post subject: Re: "Why don't you smile more?" Reply with quote

creeper1 wrote:
How do you deal with criticism? Especially when the criticism of not smiling makes you just want to wear your angry face even more. Mad
I appreciate criticism that helps me do my job better. In fact, I have to push my coteachers to give me advice. They know they have more experience teaching than I do, but either they think I'm amazing already or (more likely) they're too worried about me being over-sensitive.

Fortunately, I've only had jobs teaching in Korea. But it seems like your job is to be foreign and make kids/parents happy. It's actually good that you're basically being told this up front. Embrace it and have fun with it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
slothrop



Joined: 03 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 7:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

edit

Last edited by slothrop on Tue May 29, 2012 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
jfromtheway



Joined: 20 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 7:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also hate criticism, but I think in this country it's best to smile and say "OK, I will do better" when there is a problem, though I guess it depends on the situation. I had an open class last week and was fretting over it majorly. Luckily, only two moms per class showed up for the first three and none showed up for the last two. I had these kids trained like dogs for that monkey show. I got five stars from everyone, but there was one woman who speaks no English who dumped on me, so I'm sure I'll be answering for that for the next week or so. When someone tells me I'm doing something wrong I'm generally apt enough to be able to point out something they do equally or more wrong. In my experience, at my hagwon everyone gave a F and at my public school no one gives a F. I prefer the latter. I don't completely suck at teaching now but I'm in a situation where the kids liking me is prioritized over my English teaching abilities. If I teach more and don't let them destroy fake things on their phones, they like me less, and I lose. So, I wear a happy face, nod, smile, then bow out and go home. I do whatever will strengthen my chances of keeping my easy ass job, and I teach a lot more than the last guy did. Korean moms are an unsettled bunch of pesky parasites. Just be the white monkey, go home, and forget about it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
detonate



Joined: 16 Dec 2011

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

오 썩소 배리 배리 굿~~~
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bascially teaching kids includes making learning fun for them. This can be done by using laughter and humour as that will typically engage the kids in the lesson.

As doe generally dealing with criticism...well...sorry but you bets get used to criticism as it is part of all jobs! The thing about criticism is that when it is constructive it can actually help you improve. Straight out negative comments with nothing else add nothing however those can be frustrating. At the end of the day you just need to learn to roll with the punches. Getting angry about it won't solve a thing.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
luckylady



Joined: 30 Jan 2012
Location: u.s. of occupied territories

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

believe me, being from Texas originally, there is absolutely no barriers to smiling and being pissed off at the same time! and once you learn, it can actually be quite an advantage to those who would like to see you scowl.

haven't you ever heard the "smile when you say that pardner" from old Westerns? exactly. chin up, look square at those students and tell them exactly how you feel about them, and smile until your teeth hurt, your muscles ache and your eyes bug out. then top it off once in a while with a big wink.

oh yeah. Cool
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its important to smile because positive examples are better than negative criticisms, which according to the OP, he is not too fond of.

Your outside emotions are reflective of your inner feelings. If you aren't happy or don't "believe" in what you are teaching, and that gets carried up to your face, then that will be perceived by the students.

Quote:
At my current school I put up with my share of criticism. It could be about the kids's behaviour in my classes, not doing team building exercises in my free time etc.

When I receive this criticism it just makes me so mad. I don't deal with criticism well. It just pisses me off.

How do you deal with criticism? Especially when the criticism of not smiling makes you just want to wear your angry face even more.


What people need to understand, and our society is so poor at teaching, is that criticism and dealing with it is part of wisdom. Sadly, we focus more on cleverness and wit, and have relegated wisdom to the back burner.

Wisdom embraces correction. Wisdom teaches humbleness. Wisdom reminds us that we aren't as important as we think we are.

Instead of coming up with clever ways in which the person is wrong, take what they say and see if it leads you to being the kind of person you want to be. Of course, before all of this you have to figure out what kind of person you want to be.

What kind of person do you want to be?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
sml7285



Joined: 26 Apr 2012

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

luckylady wrote:
believe me, being from Texas originally, there is absolutely no barriers to smiling and being pissed off at the same time! and once you learn, it can actually be quite an advantage to those who would like to see you scowl.

haven't you ever heard the "smile when you say that pardner" from old Westerns? exactly. chin up, look square at those students and tell them exactly how you feel about them, and smile until your teeth hurt, your muscles ache and your eyes bug out. then top it off once in a while with a big wink.

oh yeah. Cool


Haha I used to coach swimmers in the states and I was told the same thing - to smile more. I asked my boss if he wanted me to tone down my coaching or to stop yelling at swimmers when I felt it was warranted and I was told that was not the case. The parents actually liked that I was strict on the kids and pushed them to their limits, but felt that I should smile more... go figure.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Zyzyfer



Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 3:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dislike this particular criticism but I got it a lot more back in the US (and teaching kids in Korea). I just can't put on a smile and look at all natural, I just look weird. Well maybe that's always the case lol

Anyway, I don't think you need to run around like a grinning idiot, but if they're commenting about it then students have probably said you seem a bit intimidating or something. I wasn't good at *teaching* kids so no advice but it's worth asking around for pointers.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
tideout



Joined: 12 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess I smile a lot in my elementary school job as I get a kick out of the kids.

I have to laugh though at Koreans telling a foreigner to smile as this is about the least happy looking country I've ever seen (maybe in a tie w/ Budapest which ranks, I think, last next to Korea for life satisfaction in the developed world).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
cedarseoul



Joined: 16 Feb 2008
Location: nowon-gu

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 4:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What I have found frustrating (but have more or less grown to accept over the past ~4 years) is the inconsistency. Today, teacher is too scary and should smile more. Tomorrow, teacher should be very strict and make the children learn. On Friday, teacher should have more games and activities to make class interesting. On Monday, no--teacher should give a thoughtful lecture, and the students should take notes. On Tuesday, lecturing is bad because the children are young. Have many fun and diverse activities.

Etc.

I think this is perhaps more of an issue at hagwon than at PS. IDK. Instead of developing reasonable/sensible policies and enforcing them consistently, the entire handbook gets rewritten every time a mom calls in.

But such is the nature of the game.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
tideout



Joined: 12 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cedarseoul wrote:
What I have found frustrating (but have more or less grown to accept over the past ~4 years) is the inconsistency. Today, teacher is too scary and should smile more. Tomorrow, teacher should be very strict and make the children learn. On Friday, teacher should have more games and activities to make class interesting. On Monday, no--teacher should give a thoughtful lecture, and the students should take notes. On Tuesday, lecturing is bad because the children are young. Have many fun and diverse activities.

Etc.

I think this is perhaps more of an issue at hagwon than at PS. IDK. Instead of developing reasonable/sensible policies and enforcing them consistently, the entire handbook gets rewritten every time a mom calls in.

But such is the nature of the game.


I'm in a PS. Couldn't agree more. Whatever way the winds blowing that day.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Who's Your Daddy?



Joined: 30 May 2010
Location: Victoria, Canada.

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't take the job so seriously. Really. You are only the kids teacher, you aren't their parents, you're only teaching them maybe one hour a day or whatever. Don't think you are so important in their lives. They probably have 10 teachers.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
Page 1 of 3

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2018 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International