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Dating/Married to a Korean? What language do you speak?
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What language do you speak together?
We speak almost entirely English.
74%
 74%  [ 20 ]
We speak mostly in Korean
25%
 25%  [ 7 ]
We don't speak to each other...
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 27

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DanielInKorea



Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Location: Not a small village

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 7:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Demophobe wrote:
I didn't vote as there is no 50/50 option. Not much of a poll really, is it?


Sorry, I didn't want the option of "so so" thrown in there.

Do you mean to say you can't decide which language you speak most of?

Er...does she speak English better than you speak Korean? Does she want to speak English alot? Do you want to speak Korean? I'm interested in hearing how it works for you...


Oh, and the third option is there because I know a guy who had a girlfriend who didn't speak English at all. They seemed to communicate through body language alone Confused
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red headed stranger



Joined: 12 Apr 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 7:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

50/50 is definitely an option. In my family back home there are three languages that get spoken at gatherings (English, German, and Spanish) Most of the time, people speak in the language that they are most familiar with, and everyone communicates pretty darn well.
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mithridates



Joined: 03 Mar 2003
Location: President's office, Korean Space Agency

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 8:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My favourite are Korean people that speak Japanese. Those two languages actually go together well enough that you will slip into either language without noticing.
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laogaiguk



Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: somewhere in Korea

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Homer wrote:
laogaiguk,

Too true!

They start in one language...morph into the second and end in the third and make perfect sense!

Weird... Laughing


"Hey, today, 你��������来��来?" I actually said that once without even thinking about it. Then again, I am from New Brunswick, so I can mix up French and English without a problem Smile
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red headed stranger



Joined: 12 Apr 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

50/50 is definitely an option. In my family back home there are three languages that get spoken at gatherings (English, German, and Spanish) Most of the time, people speak in the language that they are most familiar with, and everyone communicates pretty darn well.
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DanielInKorea



Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Location: Not a small village

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what are the biggest problems people have in dealing in different languages? What should I be looking out for?

So far, my basic problem is trying to strike a balance between being an 'English teacher' and boyfriend. I don't like conversations where she is constantly trying to use English and I have to constantly correct her. I do this because I don't want to reinforce her konglish�� that she has learned, and partly out of habit from being an English teacher. Also, when she's trying her English, she ends up saying everything twice, first Korean then English. It gets pretty overwhelming at times, especially when trying to have an actual conversation.

Does anyone else experience this? Or am I alone in the world?...
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DanielInKorea



Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Location: Not a small village

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

red headed stranger wrote:
50/50 is definitely an option. In my family back home there are three languages that get spoken at gatherings (English, German, and Spanish) Most of the time, people speak in the language that they are most familiar with, and everyone communicates pretty darn well.


Red headed stranger....I want to congratulate you on having the most horrendous avatar I have ever seen...

It's like it attacks me from the computer screen Surprised

English, German and Spanish.... is it really 50/50? Like with equal emphasis given to each language, and there is no specific language used for important occasions and deep discussion?

It's like ajgeddes said, you can say stuff like 'are you hungry' in Korean, but if it came to discussing the pros and cons on sending your kids to private or public school most people would switch to English. That's the way it seems to be with most people here...
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billybrobby



Joined: 09 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DanielInKorea wrote:
So what are the biggest problems people have in dealing in different languages? What should I be looking out for?

So far, my basic problem is trying to strike a balance between being an 'English teacher' and boyfriend. I don't like conversations where she is constantly trying to use English and I have to constantly correct her. I do this because I don't want to reinforce her konglish�� that she has learned, and partly out of habit from being an English teacher. Also, when she's trying her English, she ends up saying everything twice, first Korean then English. It gets pretty overwhelming at times, especially when trying to have an actual conversation.

Does anyone else experience this? Or am I alone in the world?...


accch! I hate when they say it in korean and then repeat it in english. it's like "hey, c'mon! i understood the first one! now you've robbed me of my chance to show off to my friends!" haha.

I hate when I start feeling like a teacher when I'm talking to a girl. Something about it feels...inappropriate. Like "inappropriate touching" kind of inappropriate. I feel like a douchebag. I know that's silly, but that's how I feel. Maybe it's because I don't know anything about teaching so it's all kind unnatural to me.

Anyways, you should watch out because you might get into legal trouble.
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Homer
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well..Daniel,

I think you are looking at her attemps at English in the wrong way. She is trying to imporove her English to comunicate with you in your language. In a sense you will be her teacher much like she is with you in Korean....there is no question of 'oh I don't want to be an English teacher with you'.

My wife and I went through a similar deal early on in our relationship. She imporved her English by talking with me and the same was true about my Korean....


Biggest early hurdle: miss-understandings! I would say one thing, she would say she understood but in reality she had understood something different...that led to some interesting situations!
The same would happen in Korean...thats just life Daniel...gotta deal with it. Very Happy
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TheUrbanMyth



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired

PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

indytrucks wrote:
I hadn't really given this subject much consideration until the other day, when I ran into a friend of mine who has a 3 year old daughter. She speaks no English. My friend was playing with her, asking her things and telling her things but mostly she just stared blankly at him and the only speaking she did was in Korean. My friend's Korean is OK at best, and I couldn't understand why you would want to raise a child who couldn't at least speak to you in your own mother tongue.


If your friend works all day, the child is home alone with the mother who probably speaks Korean to her. If all the child hears is mostly Korean, that's what she is going to speak. If the mother works and the child goes to day care, then it's still the same. Unless your friend spends hours with the child on the weekends and speaks English, the situation is not likely to change.
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Homer
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very true Urban!


It is a question of exposure and time.

If the child lives in a Korean environment he or she will learn that language first.

In our case, we split it. I speak only in English with my son. My wife uses only Korean. He responds equally well to both (i.e. he understands some words) and the few words he has babbled so far have been a mix of English and Korean.
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Qinella



Joined: 25 Feb 2005
Location: the crib

PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TheUrbanMyth wrote:
indytrucks wrote:
I hadn't really given this subject much consideration until the other day, when I ran into a friend of mine who has a 3 year old daughter. She speaks no English. My friend was playing with her, asking her things and telling her things but mostly she just stared blankly at him and the only speaking she did was in Korean. My friend's Korean is OK at best, and I couldn't understand why you would want to raise a child who couldn't at least speak to you in your own mother tongue.


If your friend works all day, the child is home alone with the mother who probably speaks Korean to her. If all the child hears is mostly Korean, that's what she is going to speak. If the mother works and the child goes to day care, then it's still the same. Unless your friend spends hours with the child on the weekends and speaks English, the situation is not likely to change.


That's a sad situation. I can't imagine not being able to communicate with my own child.
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DanielInKorea



Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Location: Not a small village

PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Homer wrote:
Well..Daniel,

I think you are looking at her attemps at English in the wrong way. She is trying to imporove her English to comunicate with you in your language. In a sense you will be her teacher much like she is with you in Korean....there is no question of 'oh I don't want to be an English teacher with you'.

My wife and I went through a similar deal early on in our relationship. She imporved her English by talking with me and the same was true about my Korean....


Biggest early hurdle: miss-understandings! I would say one thing, she would say she understood but in reality she had understood something different...that led to some interesting situations!
The same would happen in Korean...thats just life Daniel...gotta deal with it. Very Happy


Thanks Homer, probably a bit of wisdom that I need to hear.

It does get me thinking about the Korean women in relationships where they only speak English to a husband. Why can't I be like that except the other way around? Why does my girlfriend feel the need to learn English if we get on fine in Korean together. And we do. I think my Korean is beyond the English of many Koreans that I've seen with foreigners.

Why can't I be the one who needs to be totally fluent and carry the relationship on that? Or is that just pride talking?
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The Man known as The Man



Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!

PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Homer wrote:
We speak 3 languages....sometimes mixed together in one confusing sentence... Embarassed


Profanity?
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Lemonade



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Location: South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've dated guys from all over the world... Russia, Poland, Japan, South America, Korea, Brazil etc. etc. and we always spoke in 100% English because it's the only language I know. I couldn't date someone for very long if there was a huge language communication problem. One of the last guys I dated was from England and he was constantly using words I wasn't familiar with and he talked a-mile-a-minute. I felt like he was speaking a foreign language to me. I still laugh when I hear the words "wanker" "fag" and "poof."
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