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Did I do the right thing?
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mateomiguel



Joined: 16 May 2005

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

own_king wrote:
Yeah, don't worry OP. You would only be a perv, if the girl was showing you the pic of a *beep* and you said "Beautiful".


... so because it was a drawing it was ok?
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own_king



Joined: 17 Apr 2004
Location: here

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 11:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mateomiguel wrote:
own_king wrote:
Yeah, don't worry OP. You would only be a perv, if the girl was showing you the pic of a *beep* and you said "Beautiful".


... so because it was a drawing it was ok?



No, the word that got beeped out by Dave's was p*nis, so I was just saying is you said that was beautiful, then I'd think you were a perv. At any rate, if the pic the girl showed you was only a drawing in a book, then forget it. No big deal.
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alabamaman



Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To the OP,

I worked in a group home in the state of Rhode Island. Group Home Counselors had to wake the kids up every morning, since they had school. One morning I slid the comforter down so I could barely see his right shoulder, and the top of his head. In a house meeting two days later he said, "I feel like **** sexually harassed me!" I was under investigation by the State of Rhode Island, and suspended without pay. My company also investigated me. Kids looked differently at me. I felt humiliated, and felt like crap. Children make life very difficult for teachers sometimes by telling lies. This is not always the case. The little girl could have told a completely different story to bossman/bosswoman. She could have told the exact same story and it could have been twisted around to bust your b***s. Your remarks didn't seem like they were meant to make her feel bad, insecure, and so on and so forth. The best choice you can make from here on out is to raise your awareness. This is a good learning experience. Don't beat yourself up over this issue either.

Good luck,

alabamaman
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poet13



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Juregen. I stand by what I said, though I will admit my tone was heavy, much heavier than intended. I agree that children should be taught that their bodies are beautiful. However, I will teach mine and you teach yours. As a father, albeit (so far!) only to a son, I would be very disturbed if my child came home with a story similar to the OPs. Also, as foreigners in what I would describe as a naturally suspicious culture, in many situations we have the distinction of being guilty until proven innocent.

Yes, OP meant well; but yes, Op f-ed up.

I hope it turns out well for him.
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Roch



Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

alabamaman wrote:
To the OP,

I worked in a group home in the state of Rhode Island. Group Home Counselors had to wake the kids up every morning, since they had school. One morning I slid the comforter down so I could barely see his right shoulder, and the top of his head. In a house meeting two days later he said, "I feel like **** sexually harassed me!" I was under investigation by the State of Rhode Island, and suspended without pay. My company also investigated me. Kids looked differently at me. I felt humiliated, and felt like crap. Children make life very difficult for teachers sometimes by telling lies. This is not always the case. The little girl could have told a completely different story to bossman/bosswoman. She could have told the exact same story and it could have been twisted around to bust your b***s. Your remarks didn't seem like they were meant to make her feel bad, insecure, and so on and so forth. The best choice you can make from here on out is to raise your awareness. This is a good learning experience. Don't beat yourself up over this issue either.

Good luck,

alabamaman


What a terrible situation to have to endure, Alabamaman. Let me buy you a few Wild Turkey and Ginger Ales when I arrive in the R.O.K. on the 20th.

Still hatin' the Panhandle.
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Juregen



Joined: 30 May 2006

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

poet13 wrote:
Juregen. I stand by what I said, though I will admit my tone was heavy, much heavier than intended. I agree that children should be taught that their bodies are beautiful. However, I will teach mine and you teach yours. As a father, albeit (so far!) only to a son, I would be very disturbed if my child came home with a story similar to the OPs. Also, as foreigners in what I would describe as a naturally suspicious culture, in many situations we have the distinction of being guilty until proven innocent.

Yes, OP meant well; but yes, Op f-ed up.

I hope it turns out well for him.


Here i agree completely, i also would be grossed out. But i have my experiences as well.

It is just so difficult to deal with such sudden situations completely unprepared and out of place. The worst action would have been an aggressive action, an angry reaction. All in all i think an open and positive mindset is the most important dea;ing with children.

That is why i adviced explaining the details of the situation to the person in charge of him, so that at least he doesn't have to get a lot of questions coming from that Angle.

On a side note, are you having some backlashes of your "re-action".
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austinfd



Joined: 14 May 2006

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is no different than catching students in the act of looking up cuss words, or body parts in the dictionary.

In my American classrooms, I would occasionaly field strange requests from students who can't even spell "dictionary," much less know how to use it effectively, to borrow one from the shelf. Sometimes their endeavor is purely academic...other times it is a bit more prurient.

Anyway, I always confront them by saying "Are you surprised to find that word in the dictionary?" Their responses are classic.

If the school provides these books, and expects them to be used during class time, they are asking for conversations like that to be had. I'm not sure I would have used the word "beautiful" with a child, but you can't take that back!
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Captain Corea



Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I htink the above poster has a great point. These are school provided books. If the school didn't want them discussed in class, they shouldn't be in the class.
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Juregen



Joined: 30 May 2006

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Captain Corea wrote:
I htink the above poster has a great point. These are school provided books. If the school didn't want them discussed in class, they shouldn't be in the class.


BAN the DICs!!!



j/k of course
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jacl



Joined: 31 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahhh
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alabamaman



Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Captain Corea wrote:
I htink the above poster has a great point. These are school provided books. If the school didn't want them discussed in class, they shouldn't be in the class.


Teachers will teach subjects not related to sex education with pictures with breasts in them. It's all how you respond to the question. Should the OP raise his awareness yes. Should the school remove the books, absolutely not. Children; whose mind wonder, will ask all sorts of questions. Removing reading materials because "If the school didn't want them discussed in class, they shouldn't be in the class," doen't meet the criteria of when books should be removed. That could be another thread in itself.
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ImaTeacher



Joined: 17 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To the OP:

Your intentions were good and your comment was okay. This is one of those cases where people react differently based on whether you're male or female. If a woman had said it, it would be no big deal.
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laogaiguk



Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: somewhere in Korea

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mateomiguel wrote:


Plus, I've got a policy of never simply ignoring what my students say to me. I think it would be a betrayal of my teaching profession. Students are actually curious about something and I brush it off? THAT seems shameful. I've had very serious 20 minute conversations about the merits of dogs vs cats and the importance of the zerg rush in Starcraft. I even once told a 10 year old, completely honestly, that Santa Claus wasn't real and I didn't believe in him. I don't habitually dismiss my students, so I didn't this time.



Ha! This is a nice try. I don't believe it for a second. You didn't do anything bad (as that would have required you actually being a perv, which you aren't), but you did make a mistake. The fact that you are not admitting that is a little strange.
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Homer
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The fact that you are not admitting that is a little strange.


To be honest the original title of the thread also left me wondering about the OP....
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rocklee



Joined: 04 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes the OP did make a mistake, but there's no need to jump on him.

In some cultures, people are a lot more expressive about sexuality than others.
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